She’s Monogamous. I’m Polyamorous. Somehow, We Still Chose Each Other.
They didn’t choose between monogamy or polyamory. They chose each other. A story about rethinking love without losing yourself.
Source: GO Magazine Published March 31, 2020
Summary: In this pandemic-era article, freelance writer Irina Groushevaia opens up about building a life with her monogamous partner while living openly as polyamorous. Their needs are different, but their commitment is shared. Through honest conversations and thoughtful boundaries, they shaped a relationship that works for them. Not by following the rules, but by rewriting them.
Why This Matters: What makes Groushevaia’s essay stand out isn’t just the heart-baring honesty. It’s how clearly she names what often goes unsaid in mono/poly relationships. Both partners had to unlearn what they thought love was supposed to look like.
She let go of the belief that monogamy always means limitation. Her partner faced the fear that polyamory would lead to chaos. Instead of choosing one model over the other, they built something steady in the middle.
- Groushevaia had to "unlearn that monogamy was inherently harmful, outdated, and patriarchal."
- Her partner "discovered that polyamory was not 'sleeping around' frivolously and unpacked a lot of religious trauma about the unity of a partnership and what it meant."
For anyone trying to reach that mon/poly balance, her words will feel familiar. What they create together is not compromise, but rather a bigger version of connection.
This is not a loud essay. It’s a quiet reminder that love can be chosen on purpose. And when people trade certainty for curiosity, they often find more than they expected.
